Review of All Star Superman DVD

Let me preface this by saying I was not a fan of the All Star Superman series of comics. I personally thought that it highlighted everything that has been wrong with the Superman franchise in the last 70 years. With that in mind I was not happy to hear that the latest release in the series of DC Comics animated DVDs was going to be an animated adaptation of All Star Superman.

However I was surprisingly pleased with the DVD. On the plus side they cut out a lot of what I thought was unnecessary filler in the comic books which I thought led to a much tighter story on the DVD.

On the other side the voice acting really bothered me. Perry White was played by Ed Asner which for us old folks who remember Lou Grant this was an awesome choice for the role.Anthony LaPaglia played Lex Luthor but to me he sounded exactly like Ed Asner. so when Luthor talked to Perry White it sounded like Ed Asner was talking to himself.

I would not recommend this one for kids either. It really doesn’t have any mature subjects however there are some scenes that may disturb the young ones but for the most part the story will be over their heads.

I give it a 2 1/2 out of 5.

Review of the original Tron

Believe it or not up until last weekend I had never seen the movie Tron. In the almost 30 years since it has been out I never watched it even once. Being a current geek and former gamer you’d think that I would have seen it by now yet here we are. Now I have finally watched it and here is my 28 years late review.

I liked it. I thought the effects held up well for being made in the very early 80s. Outside of the now archaic concept of video game arcades I think it still stands up pretty well. I thought it was The Matrix of its time.

My only major complaint about the movie is that it was too short. It seems all the plot points and exposition were just mashed in there around the special effects.

I give it a 3 out of 5. Good movie but not a lot of re-watching value in my opinion.

Iron Man 2

I finally got around to watching Iron Man 2. Loved the first movie but this movie sucked out loud.

If it wasn’t for the all star cast this should have been a straight to DVD movie.

Avoid at all costs.

No fedoras out of 5.

Zero Day

Last night I watched the movie Zero Day. For those of you who haven’t heard of Zero Day it’s about a fictitious school shooting filmed from the point of view of the shooters much like what Harris and Klebold did with their basement tapes. As far as movies about school shootings go Zero Day is the best. It is much more interesting than the crap fest that is Elephant and much more realistic than Home Room. In my opinion the director tried to make it like Columbine without it actually being Columbine. What at first I didn’t like about the movie turns out makes the movie better and more disturbing. In the actual basement tapes you can see the anger and hatred in Harris and Klebold. In Zero Day the actors were much more subdued about the whole thing. My only complaint about the film isn’t with the film itself, it’s the fact that the mutants look at this as almost a “fan film” when I’m pretty sure that this was not the film’s intent. Anyway I won’t spoil anymore of it but I highly recommend that anybody, especially those with kids still in school, to watch this movie.

Home Room

A while back a reader recommended I see the movie Home Room. I just finally got around to watching it. It’s about the aftermath of a fictional school shooting. Without going into too much of the story I thought it was a great movie. On the surface it looks like a movie made for teens but this is something that parents with school age kids should definitely watch just for the last 20 minutes of the movie alone. It was a little too Breakfast Club for me overall but it was much better than the borefest that was Elephant.

Free Stuff for Millionaires

Last night was that Orgy of Opulence, The Celebration of Self Importance, The Oscars. I didn’t watch it because I don’t give a flying fuck who won for what. What it does mean is that it’s time for my 4th annual bitch about all the free crap that the “stars” get to take home. Every year presenters, performers, and nominees get these “gift bags” with truckloads of free swag. Last years gift bags ran in excess of $110,000 each. Last year around 125 of these gift bags were given out totaling in price around $13 MIllion. This years gift bags are rumored to have been in excess of $150,000 each. Here are some of the contents

• A Krups kitchen set. Not just a coffeemaker, either. This year’s gift includes a toaster, an electric kettle and a year’s supply of coffee and tea ($700)

• A two-night stay at The Carlyle hotel in New York ($2,300)

• A red leather case filled with Shu Uemura cosmetics, including mink eyelashes ($600)

• A year’s supply of Vonage broadband phone service ($500)

• A three-night stay for two at Palmetto Bluff in South Carolina ($3,600)

• A two-night stay for two at Bernardus Lodge in Carmel Valley (Calif.) wine country ($2,500)

• A three-night stay for two (plus a “personal surf-butler”) at St. Regis Monarch Beach Resort & Spa in Dana Point, Calif. ($5,900)

• A dinner party at any Morton’s, The Steakhouse ($1,500)
• Kay Unger cashmere pajama bottoms ($500)

• An assortment of Manni Oils’ extra virgin olive oil ($540)

• An unlimited day of services at Cornelia Day Resort, which just opened this month on Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue ($3,500)

• A three-night stay at San Ysidro Ranch, a popular celebrity honeymoon spot in Montecito, Calif. ($3,000)

What the fuck is a “personal surf-butler”? And again people, they get this all for free. Some celebrities even get offended if the free stuff isn’t good enough. These people could easily afford to buy this crap. Why do they feel like they deserve free stuff that’s worth more than most families make in a year? They’re just entertainers. In the grand scheme of things they don’t really contribute all that much to society. And for the most part these are the people who complain that the government should be spending more money on education and other social programs. If all these Hollywood elites got together and pooled all their free crap together and the cost of all the awards ceremonies and banquets they could probably wipe out homelessness in this country. Alas that is not to be as they would rather have their massive egos stroked by receiving stuff for free that most of us will never be able to afford…or need for that matter. One good thing I have gotten out of this is that according to this article Keanu Reeves and Michael Keaton actually turned down their $50,000 gift bags at the Sundance film festival. I can’t believe I would ever type these words but I now actually have a little bit of respect for Keanu Reeves.

The Guilty will be punished

Excuse me while I let my inner geek come out. Last night I watched the DVD of The Punisher. The reason I watched it was because I used to be a huge fan of The Punisher in the comic books. The Punisher was one of the heroes that I based my screen name on. I used to own his first appearance ever in a 1970’s issue of Spiderman and the first issue of his own series from back in the late 80’s. And as usual with most comic book to movie translations this movie blew goats. A s a matter of fact, I know I’m committing comic book and movie heresy by saying this, but I actually liked the 1989 movie version of The Punisher with Dolph Lundgren better. I’ll even admit that I even own the 1989 version and I’ll defend it to anyone who says the new version is better. I’ll even do a side by side comparison to prove my point.

What sucked about both movies:
First off NO JIGSAW!!!! How can you have a true Punisher movie without Jigsaw? It’s like having a Batman without The Joker or Superman without Lex Luthor. It just shouldn’t be done. Secondly both movies screwed up the way his family was killed. Frank Castle was a Vietnam vet whose family was killed in Central Park in New York when they got caught in the crossfire between two organized crime families. In the first movie Frank Castle was a cop whose family was killed by a car bomb set by the Mafia. In the recent movie Frank Castle was an ex-FBI agent whose family was killed in Puerto Rico after an organized crime boss’ son was killed during a bust led by Castle. Neither of which was remotely even close.

The Actors:
First off we have Dolph Lundgren. Not the greatest actor in the world I know but look at him. When I first saw him with the black hair and leather jacket to me he looked like Frank Castle. The only problem was Dolph didn’t wear the skull. Then on the other hand you have the man with the woman’s name, Mr. Patricia Arquette, Tom Jane. He looks like a cross between Christopher Lambert and Oswald from the Drew Carey Show. That is not meant as a compliment. Plus he looks like he weighs about 90 lbs. He may have the better clothes than Dolph but he is not Frank Castle.

The Movie:
The 1989 movie may have been over the top cheesy but it was non-stop from start to finish. The new film dragged on and on and on. If you’re going to make a Punisher movie it needs to have non-stop killing. They made the Punisher too human in the new flick. Sorry, but I like my Punisher to be an emotionless killing machine. The Punisher doesn’t cry. In the first movie Dolph cauterizes his wounds with a glowing hot knife. Tom Jane has to have a little stab wound sewn shut by Rebecca Romijn. The new movie takes place in Tampa. The Punisher is not from Florida of all places. The Villain names were lame at best. Howard Saint? What kind of name is that without some kind of “saintly” gimmick to back it up. While it was one of the few characters in the new Punisher I liked what kind of name is Harry Heck? So then you need someone big and mean who can take out The Punisher so you get wrestler Kevin Nash, shave his beard, give him a bleach blonde hair cut, put him in a red and white striped shirt that makes him look like he should be in the French navy and you call him “The Russian”? The original rumor was that Kevin Nash was going to play Tombstone which would have been a lot cooler even though Tombstone was more of a Spider-Man villain. Granted that Dolph only fought generic Yakuza and Mafia types but The Punisher didn’t always fight the super villains. He also fought everyday scum.

The Closing Lines:
This pretty much sums up the entire argument for me.

From the 2004 version: Those who do evil to others – the killers, the rapists, psychos, sadists – you will come to know me well. Frank Castle is dead. Call me The Punisher.
Is that corny as hell or what? Now let me give you one of the greatest movie lines ever…

From The 1989 Version: I still talk to God sometimes, I ask him if what I’m doing is right or wrong, I’m still waiting for an answer, and until I get one, I’ll be waiting, watching, THE GUILTY WILL BE PUNISHED!
How fucking cool is that?

So all you movie elitists can kiss my ass because to me Dolph Lundgren is Frank Castle.

Geek mode off.

Sixteen Bat-Candles

Little Jay was doing some web surfing the other day when he told me some information about the next Batman movie. We were pretty excited when we found out that the villain in the movie will be the coolest Batman villain ever Raas Al Ghul. Raas is going to be played by Ken Watanabe from The Last Samurai. We thought how funny it would be if Raas Al Ghul was played by Gedde Watanabe who played Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles. We came up with this conversation…

Batman: Raas, where is my automobile?
Raas: Batman, no yankie my wankie.

Well, we thought it was funny.

I am the Sin Eater

If you’re into Heaven and Hell movies like I am I recommend The Order with Heath Ledger. Not as good as Stigmata but worth a rental. I even want it for my collection.