Don’t be a huffer, you’ll burst into flames

Police get a shock when new Taser briefly ignites suspect:

Police in Lancaster, Ohio caught 31-year-old homeless man Daniel Wood huffing on a spray can of keyboard cleaner. When Wood became combative by trying to kick and bite police they employed their TASERs. Thanks to the fumes Wood briefly caught fire. Wood’s injuries were minor.

But those of you that complain about TASERs how should have police handled this suspect? If they didn’t have their TASERS they would have to have resorted to their batons or guns. But I bet you think that they shouldn’t have those either huh?

Remember kids, if you’ve been TASERed you probably deserved it and if you don’t want to be TASERed don’t break the law. It really is that simple.

Tales from the Trailer: Man sics pit bull on father

Barking Mad: Summit County Man Unleashes Pit Bull on His Own Father:

29-year-old Jaquar Richardson of Copley Township, Ohio was arrested for siccing his pit bull on his own father after a dispute over a car. The official trailer dog strikes again. Again it’s not necessarily the breed but again they seem to be favored by trailer dwellers and are brought up wrong by said trailerites.

And remember trailerism is more of a state of being than it is an actual location.

Tales from the Trailer: Man goes down on sister in park

Man drunk on mouthwash performs oral sex on unconscious sister:

A man from Sarnia, Ontario was sentenced to three years probation after a drunken incident in a local park. It seems that the unidentified man and his sister were drinking alcohol spiked mouthwash which I thought had alcohol in it already. You know I’ve had my share of alcohol spiked items in my younger days but mouthwash was never one of them.

Anyway the man was allegedly so intoxicated that after his sister passed out he started performing oral sex on her right there in the park. The man says he doesn’t doubt this happened but he doesn’t remember a thing.

The only thing I can say about this one is…ick.

Tales from the Trailer: Pair caught getting it on in mobile meth lab

Reported sex in car leads to mobile meth lab:

Back seat romp leads to alleged meth lab:

Those fine upstanding young citizens are Timothy Overly, 26, and Candace Prewitt, 25. They were arrested in Bexar County, Texas after people reported a strange car in their neighborhood. That’s where police found the couple bumping uglies in a 1991 Olds 88. But wait, there’s more.

Also found in the car were a bunch of chemicals and materials used in the manufacturing of meth.

At those ages you would think that one of them would have their own place to do it. Then again if they’re making meth I’m guessing they’re not exactly successful in the working world.

Tales from the Trailer: Trio busted for public 3-way

Three Torrington residents arrested for public sex:

In order they are Gregory Wanklin, 34, Mindy Lomento, 41, and David Perry, 23, all of Torrington, Connecticut. They were arrested for having a very public threesome in a wooded area between two streets.

Police said the parties were acting consensually and no allegations of sexual assault were made by Lomento or the two men.

When I was younger I used to think a 3-way was the ultimate goal but as I got older I realized how trashy they can be.

Keep it indoors people. Is that too much to ask?

Tales from the Trailer: Boise brother and sister charged with incest

36-year-old Boise woman and 30-year-old half-brother arrested, charged with incest:

That happy couple is 30-year-old Brian L. Reed and 36-year-old Marilyn R. Lee of Boise, Idaho.

He’s a registered sex offender who was previously incarcerated for sexual battery of a minor.

She’s, in the words of Eddie Murphy, a goonie goo goo. (NSFW Language)

They’re both half-brother and half-sister and have been arrested on felony incest charges.

Kids, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. Don’t cruise your family reunions for dates.

Tales from the Trailer: Burmese Python squeezes 2-year-old to death

Officials: Escaped pet python strangled Fla. child:

Only second to the pit bull in terms of trailer dwelling pets is the snake. Usually some kind of python or constrictor.

In this case it was an 8-foot Burmese Python that escaped from it’s impenetrable confinement of a plastic bag and a terrarium and squeezed a 2-year-old Oxnard, Florida girl to death.

The snake’s owner is 32-year-old Charles Jason Darnell, the girl’s mother’s boyfriend. Of course he did not have the proper permit to own the python. So far Darnell has only been charged with owning a snake without a permit.

I’m sorry but the only people I’ve ever known that owned snakes like pythons and constrictors are guys with mullets, 70’s mustaches and revoked driving privileges.

These animals are known to kill and eat prey that is many times their own size. If you have small kids owning an 8-foot python is not a good idea. If you do own one get rid of it and not just by releasing it into the wild.

Tales from the Trailer: Woman craps on mom during fight

Mother, daughter charged with battery:

37-year-old Destinie Rechelle Duvall and her mother, 62-year-old Patricia Ann Hacker, were both arrested in Bossier Parish, Louisiana for getting into an altercation with each other. But this wasn’t just any altercation.

The article doesn’t say where the altercation took place or how it started. However we do know at one point the daughter kicked her mother in the head causing the mother to lose consciousness. While mom was out cold dear old daughter took it upon herself to defecate on her own mother’s back. Let’s pause there for a second and let that mental image set into your mind.

Who the hell thinks of something like that? If I was in a life or death struggle with my most hated enemy I would not be thinking of taking a crap on them.

There was also biting and getting hit with a frying pan involved but really that’s small potatoes compared to crapping on your mom.

Thanks to Louisiana Lori for the tip.