I’m going to make this short and sweet tonight. So you don’t like the results of the election? Things didn’t go your way? Planning on a move to Canada? Fine. Go ahead. I’ll hold the door for you. JUst be sure to leave your American citizenship and all the rights it encompasses at the door. We’re making room for people who truly appreciate our freedoms.
A guy by the name of Andrew Veal, from Georgia, killed himself with a shotgun at Ground Zero in New York. He was supposedly distraught over the outcome of the election. First let me say it’s really not that bad people. It’s just an election. It’s nothing worth ending your life over. Secondly if anyone on the left says that his blood is on President Bush’s hands or any Republican says anything like “One down” then I hope you rot in hell. A man took his own life. There were probably other underlying issues here but have some respect. My prayers and condolences go out to the Veal family and friends.
So yesterday morning I get up early (well, early for me) and I got to the polls around 7:30 am. Talk about a clusterfuck. First off there is a volunteer fire house right down the street from me that’s used as a polling place yet I have to go like 5 miles away to my assigned polling place. Then when I get to my assigned polling place, a middle school, the line is around the school. Since school was closed they left the buses in the parking lot, which caused a severe parking problem. I said “screw this” I have to get to work. So I left without voting.
While I read the local news at work I read a quote from a guy who said that since the lines were so long he wasn’t going to vote. This guy should have all his voting rights taken away from him for being such a lazy ass bastard. There are countries around the world that are new to democracy where people walk hundreds of miles to wait days in line just to cast their vote.
I also read where a third-rate celebrity who is the darling of the internet, you know who I mean, posted on his blog that if Bush gets re-elected he is going to literally cry. Grow a set for Chrissakes.
My wife calls me during the afternoon and says that she didn’t have to wait at all. I wasn’t so optimistic about my wait time for when I get off work.
So after work I drive to the polling place. I get there about 5:45 pm. The polls close in North Carolina at 7:30 pm so I should have plenty of time. The line was long but it moved pretty quickly. The people waiting in line around me were very nice. No talk of politics just polite chitchat.
Now this is my first time voting in a North Carolina election. When I moved back here in 2000 I moved too close to election day so I wasn’t eligible to vote in this state at that time. Anyway I get in and I get handed a punch card. A freakin’ punch card? Great. Images of Florida dance in my head. All the times I voted back home in Jersey they had the electronic voting machines where you just press a button next to the candidate you want to vote for. Anyway you’d have to have the skill of a surgeon to leave a hanging chad on these punch cards.
So I go home and park my ass on the couch and stay glued to the TV. I primarily stayed on Fox News. I am a Republican and I would rather watch a broadcast that was more sympathetic to my cause. I did flip around and watched all the broadcasts though. ABC did a much better job than they did in 2000. Much more partial than it was back then. MSNBC and CNN were basically giving Kerry virtual blowjobs. Dan Rather was breaking his arm patting himself on the back about how great CBS’s coverage was. Dan really should know when to keep his trap shut. He doesn’t have a whole lot of credibility since the fake memos thing.
So it’s getting late then something happens to make my heart drop. Fox News declares Bush the winner in Ohio before any other network. I flipped around for a while hoping some other network would. MSNBC eventually did but that didn’t offer me much hope since MSNBC sucks out loud. Visions of Florida being given to Gore in 2000 filled my head and I was hoping that Fox News wasn’t making the same mistake. Then John Edwards and his hair came out to make his little “every vote will be counted” speech. Finally around 2:30 am I got tired of waiting so I went to bed.
Fast forward to today. John Kerry has shown a great deal of class by conceding and not dragging this out. Of course all the liberals in my office are up in arms. Two black women I work with are claiming that the election was rigged. It’s a shame really because one of them is really smarter than that.
Hopefully after Senator Kerry gives his concession speech that most of my election wishes will have come true.
There is a downside to the outcome of the election though. I get to hear 4 more years of leftist radicals and dumbass celebrities complaining about the President. On the upside however it provides me with four more years of material.
And lastly to all the unpatriotic assclowns that said they’d leave the country if Bush were reelected I have only one thing to say. Don’t let the door hit you in your smelly hairy hippy ass on the way out.
Stay tuned for my special announcement regarding the 2008 Presidential race after 8 PM ET tonight.
Things I hope for in tomorrow’s election:
- A clear winner. Hopefully there will be enough of a difference in the results so the election won’t be in dispute.
- If someone concedes be a man of your word and stick to it. Al Gore could have saved this country a lot of frustrations and leftist cries of a stolen election if he had just stuck to his word.
- If President Bush wins by a considerable majority that the left will finally shut up about “stolen elections”.
- If Senator Kerry wins that conservatives regret the loss, congratulate Senator Kerry and focus on 2008.
- That the news media shows a modicum of partiality and not declare winners in states that are still too close to call. If the media didn’t declare Gore the winner in Florida too early we wouldn’t have had the problems we did in 2000.
- That the liberals who say they’ll leave the country if Bush gets re-elected actually leave if he gets re-elected.
- This bears repeating. That when we all wake up on November 3rd we have one clear winner, a gracious loser, and citizens who can get on with their lives.
I know I’m hoping for too much.
Is it just me? I just can’t seem to get excited about this election. I really would like President Bush to get re-elected but if Kerry wins…”meh”. It will just be like the Clinton years, a president who is ineffectual at best. 2000 was very different for me.
I kid about Kerry being the anti-Christ but in 2000 I really believed that about the Gore/Lieberman ticket. While people are bitching now about how the FCC is clamping down on the first amendment because you can’t talk about butt fucking on the radio, Gore and Lieberman would not have stopped there.
Gore had his roots in censorship going back to his wife’s failed project of the 80′s, Tipper Gore’s PMRC. Lieberman on the other hand had his roots in something more recent. He belonged to a similar group called the Parents Television Council. They’re mission was trying to tell you what should and should not be on TV.
Gore in his speech at the DNC In 2000 even echoes these sentiments when he told Hollywood that they need to change their ways when it came to sex and violence. Where was the talk of trampling free speech then? Oh that’s right. When liberals talk of censorship it’s ok because it’s for the greater good. With Republicans it’s all about restricting your rights.
Now looking back who would you have rather had in the White House during 9/11. I think if Al Gore was president at that time it would have been like the president character that Jack Nicholson played in “Mars Attacks”. Gore would just keep trying to negotiate with the terrorists while they keep up attack after attack until it’s too late.
Anyway there are no real hot button issues for me in this election. I happen to agree with more pf President Bush’s stances than I do with John Kerry’s. Whoever wins though, my life will go on the same as it always does. No better and no worse.